Hitting bottom in western culture

I've been restless all my life. Never lived in one place for more than a few years. I've never been one to hold a job for more than a few years and always seem to be doing something different. I've really no special skills to speak of. Have managed to make ok money working in insurance as a customer service rep. Its not a job I enjoy at all. I've also worked in hospitality and liked that well enough but there's not enough money in it to raise a family.

I tried going to college, did a course on computers and did another course in being a travel agent. Neither one of those panned out into a good job.

3 years ago I lost my husband in a car accident. That changed my life, I had no job and no husband. So I said the hell with it and moved to Hawaii for a year. Got bored with that, left and came back to Canada to be with my parents. I hadn't lived near them in at least 14 years.

I promised myself that I'd stay here and work 9 -5 until retirement. OMG its been 2 1/2 years that I've been here and I'm at the bottom of depression. I can't do it!! I'm a 42 yr old single mom and can afford to travel. My son is 13. I have made no friends here in the last 2 1/2 years. Don't tell me to join a gym, I've done it. I've done every suggestion possible to meet new people but nothing has worked. Its not that I'm a nasty person, everyone I meet is married or has small children or they have no money to do anything. This is ridiculous. Our western culture has everyone tied up to their jobs and families that they don't notice what's around them.

I want to be with a community, I want a culture to share, I want to help people. I want a life that doesn't involve spending money needlessly. I don't want to commute to work.

I want to own a hostel or a b&b and meet people from all over the world. I want to employ local people, buy local food, support my local community. I want to belong!!

So I'm looking at Nicaragua. My entire family thinks I'm crazy. My oldest son wants me in Florida, no way!! My parents think I'm nuts, we won't visit you in Nicaragua. My youngest son just says whatever makes you happy mom.

I've never been to Nicaragua!! I'm planning on a 2 week visit this summer. We'll do spanish immersion and check everything out. Maybe we won't come back to Canada. I don't know at this point. I told my son that maybe we'll just backpack for a year. He really thinks I'm crazy.

Maybe I am.

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Coming to Nicaragua......

Come..and notify me when you are able. I have been a guide and tourism specialist throughout Central America for several years and have a whole lot of Nica. connections in the travel industry..small and medium sized hotels, local transportation companies and scores of native guides for cultural and eco trips. The best place to start is Masaya, a medium sized city city located only 23Km. from Managua, the handicrafts centre of Nicaragua and easy to contract a local guide-Spanish teacher as well. View my bloq "Nicaragua Welcome with open arms".

Central America Language Tours Your Vertical Portal to Travel, Trade and Language Study in all of Central America... www.centralamericalanguagetours.com info@centralamericalanguagetours.com

You are not crazy!

I was born and raised in Nica, I live in Canada now. I can assure you that if you are open minded (which I'm sure you are) and you have enough funds to support yourself, you will enjoy Nica very much. The culture is so different and at the same time similar enough; you will adjust just fine. If you feel lonely now in Canada, it will be quite the opposite in Nica!!!; you will beg for people to leave you alone, specially in the beginning when you will not want to "offend" anybody and will put up with a lot of nonsense (I can almost picture you Jultime) and I am not talking about street vendors trying to sell you something. If you ever make it there you will see what I mean. People in Canada are so reserve, polite and distant (Anglo-Saxon culture) if you are not used to Nicas, you will find them too direct, noisy, which you might interpret as "invasion of personal space", once you adapt you will learn how to behave and won't feel obligated to be "nice and polite all the time" (the Canadian way), which as a Nica I see it as an easy way to say: "keep away, I don't want to know you, I'm too busy to care about you". If I say in a soft and polite voice "I'm sorry" I can easily walk in the opposite direction (that means away from you!) "I'm sorry" if this comment offends as an Anglo woman. When I first moved to Canada I wondered "what is everyone so sorry about?", they solve everything with a "I'm sorry", as if that makes everything right. It is true some people in Canada are really busy to care, it is not their fault. In Nica you will learn to appreciate the things you've got in life, you will see smiling faces (in despite of their misery) Your Anglo mind will wonder, they are so poor, what is there to be happy about ? Well, their genuine happiness is contagious and b4 you realize it, you will be smiling back. I can guarantee that your 13 year son will absolutely love Nica, he will make tons of friends in no time at all! Go to Nica! You deserve it. You are worth it. Please receive a warm and big bear hug from a Nica. Un abrazo.

thank you friendly Nica

Thanks for the inspiration!

I know what you mean about how happy poor people are. I spent some time in Zambia and Namibia where I saw and met truly poor people. They were poor but they were happy for the most part. They appreciated everything they had. Then again, what is the meaning of poor? We are all poor in our own way.

Visiting developing countries in Africa gave me a whole new outlook on life. Made me realize what is important.

I also don't look at this possible move as only being good for me. If all goes well I will open a hospedaje somewhere, employ several locals and contribute to the local economy.

You noticed the problem

While you, I and the rest of the people here may sound crazy, I think we are just the people that are not in denial. That is, we saw the problem with the "be a good person until you are 65 and then get a pension" life.

I knew I wanted out of 9-5 but I also didn't know/realize what the alternatives were. For example, I thought it was hard to get residency in another country. With a few years of "reality" under my belt I know that while life may not be perfect where I am I also know it is so much closer to being alive than I ever had or even ever could imagine.

Even for people who aren't ready to move to a place such as this, staying here long enough to see that there is a whole world out here will certainly help a lot. I was in Costa Rica during what the US called its last Presidential election. It was refreshing to see local news making fun of the US for being this big democracy that could not even decide who won the election. It helped bring a little reality to the situation.

you're not crazy

Don't worry, your not crazy. i think we are all looking for culture and community. Unfortunatly its hard to find here in North America anymore.~Christina :)